25 Comments
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Rick Lewis's avatar

Rachel - this was purely masterful. This weave of true story and insightful education about our hidden wiring was riveting, inspiring, and deeply moving. It explains for me my own hunger for community at this point in my life.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you, Rick. I've been trying to follow your advice about weaving more personal narrative into my writing, and this piece felt like a step in that direction. I'm touched that the story connected with your own experience of seeking community. Really means a lot.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

More than a step. You nailed it. I know you’ve had some hesitation about getting more personal and this was very clever to use your own family background as the personalization aspect, but it worked beautifully. Definitely connected with me in a big way around community, and also explains some of my deep fears of the same.

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Camilo Moreno-Salamanca's avatar

This was a hell of an essay. You are a hell of a writer.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

This means more than I can say. Thank you ◡̈

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James Bailey's avatar

Camilo - thank you for restacking this. You said it best, this is one hell if an essay and you are an amazing writer.

Rachel, as one who has suffered depression, anxiety and periods of withdrawal, I’ve discovered over time “the place to find myself is in other people.” Now, when “I’m off,” I reach out to others for connection and to occupy their world. It is there that I find and reorient myself to my own path.

Thank you again for your beautiful contribution. 🙏

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you for sharing this, James. You've captured something so true—that we find ourselves through others, even though reaching out can feel most impossible when we're struggling most. Your words about finding and reorienting yourself through connection really resonate.

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Claire Coley's avatar

Wow, I don’t even know what to say; Rachel. This is incredible. I felt all of it. And the photos are amazing too

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you, Claire. This story was so pivotal in my family's history, and it means a lot to be able to share it—especially with the photos. While researching it, I discovered something amazing: my great-grandmother wrote a poem about her experience. It's incredible how sharing these family stories helps us discover these forgotten pieces of our past.

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Suzanne Hitcho's avatar

I went walking with my dad yesterday, and he mentioned how the geese haven’t returned to the ponds in the neighborhood this year. Your line — ‘a boy adrift in a winter city, he’s really asking if anyone will notice if he disappears’ — gave me pause. This is so beautifully written, Rachel. Thank you for sharing another profound reflection on the intersection of life, literature and humanity. I absolutely love your writing. 🤍

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you for sharing that moment with your dad, Suzanne. Those quiet observations of absence can hold such depth of meaning. I'm touched that this piece resonated with you in such a personal way. Your thoughtful reading means a lot to me.

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Judy Wood's avatar

Your essays get better and better. Love the photos and I agree with Rick Lewis that adding insight into your personal experience makes the writing more powerful. You do a masterful job of connecting the intimacy of family to researched information. It makes the reader thoughtful and more interested. Great job! Keep them coming!

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you so much, Judy. It means a lot to hear this from a writer I respect. I'm finding that weaving together personal stories with research helps me understand both more deeply—I'm glad that comes through in the writing. Really appreciate your continued support and encouragement.

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Linda Kaun's avatar

Rachel,

I love how you weave the threads of science, literature and your very personal story together, helping us see ourselves in a new light. Beautiful. You inspire me. Thanks.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

That is so kind, thank you Linda. I really appreciate your support.

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Jake Ballinger's avatar

Rachel, what the fuck

Your storytelling, your analysis, your scientific exposition—it all works, and it all works so well. Phenomenal.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

This reaction made me laugh out loud. Thank you, Jake! Your support means so much.

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Jason Blydell's avatar

what everybody else said!!! Amazing essay! gripping and heartfelt and informative, it has it all.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you, Jason! So glad it resonated—really appreciate you reading.

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Sarah MacCoy's avatar

Profound insight into generational trauma. Truly a beautiful picture into loss and its profound impact. Incredible.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you for this thoughtful response, Sarah. It means a lot to see how this story resonates with others.

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Janelle Gray's avatar

Just incredible! So insightful and beautiful to bring in personal family history. I learn so much from your writing!

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Really appreciated your feedback on this one—it helped me find the right way to tell this story. Thank you!

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Vicky Kelly's avatar

Beautifully written and eloquent in how you make Porges' ideas so relatable. Also a really powerful metaphor of the healing we need in the world through connection and building trust. Thank you.

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Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you, Vicky. I'm glad the piece managed to bridge Porges' scientific insights with our human experiences of connection. Really appreciate your thoughtful reading.

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